How I got into Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique
I began my healing journey in my early twenties, some forty years ago. I felt depressed and anxious. I had severe allergies, migraine headaches, panic attacks, and couldn’t digest the food I ate. I felt suicidal at times, and emotionally numb. I couldn’t feel my body. My mind raced and I couldn’t focus without great tension. I was drowning in negative self-talk and had extremely low self-confidence. I had so much shame, I couldn’t stand up for myself. I spent a lot of time in the fight, flight or freeze response.
I started learning to do bodywork, which involved getting bodywork. I began to feel my body and study energy flows. I trained in Swedish massage and Polarity Energy Balancing. Later, I became a certified Cranial Sacral Therapist.
My deep healing began in my early forties when I entered recovery from childhood abuse. Up until the early 90’s, I’d been suppressing trauma without realizing. When one of my sisters told me that she thought she’d been sexually abused, a door opened for me to heal. Soon after, I realized I had PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder.)
I did 2 years of exposure therapy. While it helped me uncover and purge childhood feelings and experiences, it was also re-traumatizing me. I began to fear leaving my house. One night, I dreamed that a bird of prey had it’s claws in my shoulders. I called my practitioner the next morning and cancelled with her—forever. Thank goodness a healthy part of me knew that I was safe in my current life, that I was an adult, safe to come and go.
I continued meditation, yoga, tai chi and bodywork. I journaled, wrote poetry, played hand drums and painted—all of which was extremely helpful. But I was still carrying trauma and getting triggered into fight, flight and freeze states.
Later I learned I had C-PTSD (complex PTSD), which is trauma in the first 7 years of life. This is significant because early trauma impacts our developing nervous systems, and the neural pathways in our brains are grooved in patterns developed in response to danger, threat and chaos early in life.
I did psychotherapy with a renowned trauma specialist. It was somewhat helpful—except I felt I had to crawl into a box to work with her. I’m an artist and intuitive, and she had no background in working with right-brain ways of processing. She couldn’t relate to the metaphysical experiences I had—the shared death experience, the kundalini crisis… Soon, I was out on my own again, searching and trying one practitioner after another. Along the way, I studied at the Jung Center and worked with a Jungian therapist. Again, helpful—but it didn’t change my neurobiology from traumatized to peaceful.
For years, therapists who heard my story told me I was incredibly resilient. I didn’t feel resilient back then; I felt I was trudging up an endless hill, then sliding back down, like the myth of Sisyphus.
EFT was the first modality to thoroughly reset my nervous system. A friend introduced me by guiding me through a session. It was so helpful that I decided to take the training. I spent 3 months doing an online course, and then attended a 10-day retreat, where we tapped and learned to facilitate taps for our peers.
Tapping allowed me to access the depth I needed to work through the turmoil inside. I cried when I needed to, laughed when it bubbled up, and shared what I’d never told anyone, without fear of being judged, censored, or abandoned. It was a magical experience to go to the dark places within me, while being witnessed and cared for by a loving, supportive guide. Tapping freed me.
At the 10-day live retreat, we did 3 taps/per day, some one-on-one, and some with the group. I trained for 4 years. 2 years after my second certification training, I did an intensive tapping journey with a colleague, during which time we exchanged 3-hour sessions weekly, for 14 weeks. That immersion resolved lingering trauma and empowered me to become a more skillful, empathetic practitioner.
I began leading group taps on Zoom and Facebook during the #MeToo movement, helping women overcome sexual abuse, learning as I went along. Some years later, I continue to love tapping and what it can do for people.
Currently, I lead a monthly group tap on Zoom, sponsored by a meditation group, Sacred Mountain Sangha, with participants from 3 continents. This group is respectful, compassionate and deep. If you feel attracted to participate, newcomers are welcome. Sign up here for announcements and invitations.
I believe that trauma is potentially a valuable, though unintegrated resource. People who’ve overcome trauma gain wisdom and compassion. Survivors with regulated nervous systems can lead us through the challenges of our times.
We live in times where, because of cultural patterns, we have generations of traumatized ancestors from whom we’ve inherited epigenetic patterns. It’s no accident that we’re developing skills to overcome trauma now. This is crucial work, if our species is to survive.
Survivors who are well, who live joyful, fulfilling lives can make a difference. We can dismantle trauma, be levelheaded and emotionally stable during times of intensity and uncertainty.
Currently, we have a pandemic going on; we have climate change and political and financial instability. With so much uncertainty, our souls cry out to do the work of healing and transformation.
I bring a lot of personal and professional skills to the table, and most especially, my faith in your ability to overcome trauma. Contact me today to set up your free Discovery Call.
