The Resilience of Traumatized Women who Rise UP

Why do I love to work with women overcoming trauma?

Traumatized women are many, including:

• Women who’ve been traumatized by gender discrimination, sexism, violence, misogyny, sexual harassment and worse
• Women who’ve inherited trauma from their mothers, grandmothers and generations of ancestors
• Women who’ve experienced trauma in the form of witch hunts, forced marriage
• Women who’ve been paid less, denied promotions or other opportunities due to gender bias
• Women who’ve been harmed by religious and spiritual traditions that denigrate women
• Women who’ve been  invalidated, unsupported and left to fend for themselves as single mothers
• Women who’ve been isolated from friendship and community, losing a sense of belonging.

Survivors are resilient. We’ve lived through adversity and faced our own shadows, as well as the collective shadow. We don’t spiritual bypass or deny the injustices and pain of the world, or resort to platitudes. We dig deep and reach high. We face reality and move forward with insight, compassion and wisdom.

I love working with traumatized women who are determined to overcome and rise up, because, I AM ONE TOO!

For years, therapists and healers I worked with remarked, “You’re incredibly resilient,” when they heard about events in my childhood and early adulthood. I didn’t feel resilient, though. I felt like I was on a treadmill, trying to overcome C-PTSD, especially the repetitive cycle of getting triggered into a Fight/Flight/Freeze response. This was beyond my conscious control, because anxiety and fear were physiologically grooved into my nervous system.

I felt frustrated by some healers and therapists, who seemed to think I just needed to “change my story.” When trauma is deeply grooved into how your brain is wired, as it is when trauma is severe and occurs in the first 7 years of life while your nervous system is still developing, you can’t just positive think your way out of it. 

I didn’t feel like I was ‘holding on’ to my story. I felt like IT had a grip on me and wouldn’t let go. Now that I know the neuroscience, I see what an apt description that is.

I was interviewed some years back for an effective healing telesummit. When I told the interviewer I wanted to talk about trauma, he said, “I don’t work with trauma survivors anymore–because they don’t want to heal.” ARRGH!

That was such nonsense! To his credit, while he didn’t exactly “interview” me, he did give me a platform to speak about trauma survivors and resilience. Later, I got emails from listeners around the country, who wrote to thank me and say, “Your interview was the only one in the summit with substance.” 

I studied, I trained, I did the work. Today, I continue to study and train and do the work. If a practitioner claims that “they’ve done all their work as a human, and are enlightened 100% of the time,” RUN THE OTHER WAY! As long as you’re still breathing, you’ll have your share of stuff.

TODAY, I’M AMAZED AND FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR HOW WONDERFUL AND JOYFUL MY LIFE IS. EVEN NOW. DURING THE PANDEMIC.

Sure, I still have moods and emotional states, and I meet them with skill, self-kindness, support from friends and family. At this point in my life, I am deeply resourced.

My nervous system is well regulated. I have skills and a support network. I want this for you too. I acknowledge my resilience and want to support you meeting your goals.

I’m here to tell you: YOU CAN DO THIS! Overcome trauma and change the rest of your life. Life unfolds from the present moment. Despite your past, your future can be kind and loving.

The years of exploration, experimentation and doing the work worked! I worked for 7 years as a Craniosacral therapist specializing in somato-emotional release work. And in 2021, we have more knowledge and skill about how to  than we ever have before. 

EFT tapping has been one of the most effective modalities for me in healing my nervous system and letting go of my story. My positive experiences led me to become a Tapping Practitioner. My clients get amazing results. And I continue to benefit. 

As a Spiritual Coach, my goal is to support my clients clearing whatever stands in the way of accessing and following their own inner wisdom and their Soul’s guidance. Much of the time, what stands in the way is blocked emotions from unhealed traumatic states.

I also offer Akashic Healing sessions, when more subtle energy field work is indicated.  I was initiated into the Akashic records spontaneously, directly from the source, as you can read here in my blog called “Tapped”.

I’ve been a certified flower essence practitioner using these vibrational remedies to support emotional healing for 20+ years. 

A long time friend who’s watched me heal over 2 decades sent me this message today, and I loved it so much, I’m reposting it here. The author is Shahida Arabi    She is new to me, so I look forward to diving in to her YouTube channel, The highlighting is my own, plus I’ve made a few small edits in punctuation. 

She is Powerful, by Shahida Arabi

“Here is a truth you often don’t hear: traumatized women have the potential to become the most powerful people in this world.

The most ignorant members of society call this type of woman “damaged.” But she is the most powerful type of woman there is.

What they forget is that survivors have the most dangerous advantage of all: resilience.

When you try and you try but you can never bring a woman down, you’ll know there is no going back. Don’t fool yourself. You could never defeat her. You never will.

This is the woman who will always rise from the dead; Lady Lazarus, after going through hell and back.

This is the woman who has burned her feet in the flames time and time again and always lives to tell another tale – even if she has to crawl back to life.

She was never given love or approval on a silver platter, so in order to survive, she had to love herself in a way others could only dream of. She fought tooth and nail for her own self-acceptance.

No one cuddled her as a child or told her pretty things; she had to fend for herself each step of the way. She knows she can survive because she already has and will again.

When someone tells her, “You can’t do it,” she says, “Watch me.”

She is fiery light birthed out of wintery darkness. Brought into the underworld by Hades, Persephone brings forth spring and rebirth when she reemerges finally from the cold.

She owns her shadows and seamlessly weaves them into the fabric of her freedom, creativity, imagination and independence.

All of her life, she was given every evidence of human cruelty and the evil people were capable of. She understood early on that the monsters people dreamed of existed in human skin.

She lived all of her nightmares in high definition. She was given every reason to give up, handed every justification to never believe in herself or anyone.

But there is raw magic in the ways in which she cultivates a faith in herself, to manifest the dreams her soul was meant to bring forth.

Despite it all, she still conquers.

She still survives and thrives.

The “damaged” woman is capable of immense manifestation not just in spite of, but because of the traumas she has gone through.

There is no one more motivated than a woman who has constantly been told what she cannot do or who she cannot be throughout her lifetime.

There is no one more determined to succeed than someone who has nothing left to lose.

The “damaged” woman doesn’t sign up for the hardships of her journey – but she plays the hell out of the cards she’s been dealt.

The “damaged” woman is not damaged at all – she is wounded, and in channeling and healing her wounds, she becomes the source of incredible energy, the site of unbelievable potential for abundance and change.

She possesses the power to use her wounds for the greater good and her highest good.

She builds her own success and becomes her own rugged hero; tends to her own scraped knees.

She uses every stone thrown at her to build the foundation for her empire.

Brick by brick she builds – and despite every attempt to tear her walls down, she rescues herself again and again.

Despite it all, this type of survivor may still face hatred, envy, greed from those around her. They try to tell her she is too damaged to soar.

See, when the women society call too “damaged” perform better than those who never were, it tends to upset the status quo.

As a result, she becomes the survivor of countless witch hunts, the target of many persecutors. Yet when they try to burn her at the stake, she does what comes naturally: she resurrects herself.

After all, nobody suspects that it is the wounded woman who has more power inside of her than the bullies who appear to overpower her.

They laugh and ridicule the mute warrior, the one who seems to never fight back.

But here’s the thing about this type of woman: she observes.

She learns how to pick and fight her own battles. Her spirit may be broken, but it is relentless. She perseveres, bit by bit. She takes it all in.

Perhaps she stays voiceless for years. For her soul, it may seem like for centuries. This is an ancient wound, one that seems to follow her from generation to generation.

Yet at some point, it comes time for her soul to fight back in order to survive. It comes time for her to rise.

She stays silent for so long that when she finally speaks, the world erupts and cracks wide open.

Her pent-up magnificent energy, born and bred in the pressure cooker that she calls life – is that of lightning.

Where once hopelessness was her default, now abundance becomes her birthright.

Where once she was timid, she now unleashes thunder in every action and word that she wields like a sword – and with it, she always brings a storm.

Now when she creates, she creates new worlds and transforms and manifests on a level that cannot be recreated by someone who never had to struggle to survive.

When you hear the voice of a powerful survivor and the will of a warrior – there is nothing you can do but to stop and listen.

She is the voice of a million lifetimes lived.

She is the voice of the hopeless and the powerless when the fire is brought back to their eyes. She is the harbinger of the justice that the voiceless have longed to hear and feel and touch.

Regardless of how much you try and how it may seem, you can never truly bring a survivor like this to her knees; she already knows the value her scars bring.

She knows how to fill the cracks between her wounds with gold.

She knows how to transform each bitter word cast upon her into an iron-clad will, that will set her and other caged birds free.

You can’t ever defeat a “damaged” woman because she knows exactly how to save herself.”

Email me if you’d like to learn more about my work.